As you can imagine, post cardioversion, we have a very tired man on our hands. They will need to keep him sedated a bit to allow his body to recover from the trauma we had to agree to. A really nice, long sleep is just what he needs now with the low murmur of 'Wow, Pat, did you think he could really drive the ball straight up the fairway from the tall brush he put himself in the shot prior? I just can't believe it.' playing on the TV. Mom and I, on the other hand, need to be sedated as well, or a really long sleep, but we walk to Starbucks to breathe some outside air instead. On our walks, we sometimes talk, we sometimes don't.....this time, you could cut the silence with a knife, but we walk hand in hand. No words need to be spoken, just a mutual understanding, love and a sure feeling in our soul of "I am with you to the end" as we walk out of the hospital. You are pretty sure this same scenario has happened in a medical drama on TV before, but never did you imagine it was going to be a chapter in your life. This only happens on TV right, surely not in my family.
The afternoon is spent on the phone checking in with my husband, my brother, sisters, friends, uncles, aunts and loads of people so concerned for my dad. He was a lover of people, animals, life and sweat! :) So, you can imagine, there are a lot of people who need updates. Thankfully, I could call a few and the phone tree would start because I clearly didn't have the energy to call everyone myself. But, I was trying to let my sisters Kelli and Dayna know what was going on because they were both trying to decide when to come. Kelli lives in Las Vegas and has been ready to jump in the car about 14 times so far. I never told people not to come, but just reported the news. They would only let 2 people in the CCU room at one at a time, so if there was a bunch of us there, we would have to be on rotations. We also were trying to get a feel for how long dad was going to be in the hospital. If this turned into a really LONG affair, we would need some strength in numbers down the road, so maybe it's smart to hold off on calling in the whole arsenal now. Yet another decision to make and I was all out of decision making ability. I had to save myself to make sense of what the doctors were saying.
But, let's just say, the need to cardiovert Dad tipped the scale for Kelli and she loaded up and hit the road for Fresno. We figured maybe she could stay for a week and I would go back home to Escondido to be with my family while she stayed with dad. It would be nice to see my family again, but I wasn't so sure I could leave! They have to kick me out of the hospital room every night just to go home and sleep and if I am being honest, the only reason I did go home was for my mom. I couldn't let her drive home alone. Anywho, she needed to come and see her dad, so we will figure it out.
In the meantime, let's read Isaiah 40! "Hey Dad, listen to this....'Get you up to a high mountain, O Zion, herald of good news; lift up your voice with strength, O Jerusalem, herald of good news; lift it up, fear not; say to the cities of Judah, 'Behold your God!' Behold, the Lord God comes with might, and his arm rules for him; behold, his reward is with him, and his recompense before him. he will tend his flock like a shepherd; he will gather the lambs in his arms; he will carry them in his bosom, and gently lead those that are with young." Even in this time, we can still Behold OUR God. He comes with might and will tend to his flock. I believe He wants to tend to this flock right now and let's beg Him to get you out of here. He will hear us and furthermore he says in verse 28 "Have you not known? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable, He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength..."
This truth we need as we fight for understanding of why this would happen, but realize we need trust in the Lord in this time because His ways are unsearchable yet He LOVES us. Well, the next couple of days clearly are going to creep along as we wait for Dad to come out of his sleep, see his heart steady and gain the strength to ask his body to function again. Waiting, wondering, talking with the doctors and nurses, watching mindless TV, holding Dad's sausage fingers and trying not to lose all form of composure is what we have been reduced to. We wait for the doctors to tell us we get to pack him up and take him home, but alas, they are no where near that. It's a Sunday, Dad has been in this room for 9 days now, Kelli is on her way, Mom and I are running on fumes, but nowhere near the finish line. And so we wait....
When Kelli finally arrives, golf is over, the sun has set and Dad continues to remain mostly unresponsive, resting from the big day. We meet Kelli in the parking lot so we can prepare her for what she is about to see. My dad is a really good looking guy, mind you, but somehow having bolts screwed into your head, a tracheotomy put in, and being attached to nearly every machine possible has caused him to lose his swag, just a bit. The ride in the elevator was nerve-wracking, the walk down the LONG hall seemed endless as you could palpate the anticipation in the air of what was waiting for her in the CCU room. Thankfully, the nurses cleared all of us to be in the room together for a short time, so we approach his bedside and everyone loses it!! My dad opens his eyes when he hears her voice and immediately the tears start welling up in his eyes, Kelli can't help herself once she sees dad start crying and it surely doesn't take much for mom and I to cry these days. Although, surprising we have tears left to cry. I wonder if it's possible for tears to just dry out? If so, seems like we would have experienced it these last 9 days. Anyway, we allow Kelli to have some hand holding time with dad as she talks to him and loves on him a bit. Its actually nice to have some new blood in the mix to give dad something else to look at instead of the now TIRED mugs of my mom and I. The night wears on, mom and I are exhausted, so we tear ourselves away from the bedside and tell dad we will all be there with bells on in the morning. Not 1, not 2, but now 3 of us!! He seems thrilled in a sedated kind of way. And so we sleep, we pray for sleep that brings health in the morning, for all of us!!
When Kelli finally arrives, golf is over, the sun has set and Dad continues to remain mostly unresponsive, resting from the big day. We meet Kelli in the parking lot so we can prepare her for what she is about to see. My dad is a really good looking guy, mind you, but somehow having bolts screwed into your head, a tracheotomy put in, and being attached to nearly every machine possible has caused him to lose his swag, just a bit. The ride in the elevator was nerve-wracking, the walk down the LONG hall seemed endless as you could palpate the anticipation in the air of what was waiting for her in the CCU room. Thankfully, the nurses cleared all of us to be in the room together for a short time, so we approach his bedside and everyone loses it!! My dad opens his eyes when he hears her voice and immediately the tears start welling up in his eyes, Kelli can't help herself once she sees dad start crying and it surely doesn't take much for mom and I to cry these days. Although, surprising we have tears left to cry. I wonder if it's possible for tears to just dry out? If so, seems like we would have experienced it these last 9 days. Anyway, we allow Kelli to have some hand holding time with dad as she talks to him and loves on him a bit. Its actually nice to have some new blood in the mix to give dad something else to look at instead of the now TIRED mugs of my mom and I. The night wears on, mom and I are exhausted, so we tear ourselves away from the bedside and tell dad we will all be there with bells on in the morning. Not 1, not 2, but now 3 of us!! He seems thrilled in a sedated kind of way. And so we sleep, we pray for sleep that brings health in the morning, for all of us!!
