It was a Saturday, 2 years ago today, and the day began with the usual whirl of the morning as 3 kids wake up, realizing they have a day off from school, mom usually makes something you can pour syrup over and they were happy! Saturday mornings sometimes hit with a rush of activity, but this day we stayed in our jammies to enjoy the slow start to the day. After breakfast, I decided to hit a power yoga class which started at 11am at the YMCA (of course I waited plenty of time to make sure my belly was empty!). This was not a usual occurence on Saturday mornings, but seemed like a good idea this day. The class was great, but seemed to wear me out more than usual. I just might need nap in the afternoon and really take advantage of this Saturday. Maybe I could convince the kids they needed a nap as well and we could all let the lunch coma take over and whisk us away into a little afternoon sleep. The plan was a success and I must say this sleep was different. I usually take a 20 minute power nap, wake feeling refreshed and then get on with my day's work. Not this day, I ended up SLEEPING, not really napping, but a full 2 1/2 hours of sleep. WOW, not sure what this was all about...but, I'll take it.
Upon waking, I checked my cell phone and realized I had missed several calls. Most of them from my mom who usually calls because she is at Target or Costco on the weekend and wants to know what size clothes the kids are wearing now! :) This time her message seemed hurried and excited. Hmm, better call and see what she needs.
(The sting of the phone call still rushes over me like a wave trying to suffocate. You see, this is a way I need to heal, but first the scabs will be ripped off to expose the new pink skin underneath, and slowly, with time, you notice the skin has recovered. Maybe a scar is left behind in the place of the scab, much smaller and possibly not even noticeable to others, but it's always there reminding you of the pain.)
"Hey Mom, how you doing? What's up?"
"Honey, I have called you about 4 times now, where were you?"
"I was in yoga the first couple of times you called and I usually turn my phone on vibrate during class so it doesn't go off. Then, I came home and took a nap because I was exhausted. So, I just got up and realized I hadn't turned my phone off of vibrate. Sorry, I missed you."
"Honey, I am at the hospital." (with obvious signs of distress in her voice)
"WHAT! What happened?!"
"Your dad fell at work and he hit his head. They brought him in an ambulance to Kaweah Delta, but they are not sure if they can keep him here because they don't have a neurosurgeon at this hospital and because of the CT-scan, there is swelling in his brain and he needs to be moved to Fresno. I don't know what to do."
**Now my dad had a history of falling because he had smoked for most of his life which lead to COPD and beginning signs of emphysema. He would start coughing, black out, and fall usually hitting his head on something. I always worried that one time it would be really bad, but my dad was stubborn and he rarely allowed you to know how much pain he was really in. There were times he hit his head on the corner of the bathroom counter and instead of allowing himself a trip to the doctor, he would tell my mom to butterfly bandage it up and call it a day. He wasn't a complainer, that's for sure!!
"Well, you need to go wherever they say right now. Is anyone with you? Can you ride with him in the ambulance?"
"June came with me to Kaweah, but I don't want to ask her to go all the way up to Fresno with me. They had to intubate him and when he got here, he didn't know what was happening. What do I do?"
"I think you should ask someone to come with you to Fresno. Mom, you don't need to drive alone all the way up there like this. I don't want to worry whether you are ok too! Mom, what happened, do you know?"
"Dad was working a job (he lays carpet) just down the street. The owner of the house was in the garage and dad went out to his truck for a break or something. They chatted for a brief second and then went about their business. The next thing he knew, dad was lying down half in the street and half on the curb. He asked him if he was ok and dad said, 'Yeah, I just fell, I will be ok.' The owner brought him a chair from the garage to sit on in the grass for a couple of minutes. He went back into the house to get him a drink of water. When he came back he noticed that dad didn't look so good. He was calling Roxy....Jamie (Roxy is his dog and Jamie is me, his daughter) and was muttering things that didn't make much sense. He told dad that he was gonna call an ambulance. They came very quickly to the house, asked dad some questions, told him they thought he should go to the hospital, but dad refused. 'I will be ok. I just need a couple of minutes.' So, they left and the owner told dad he wanted to drive him home at least. Dad almost refused, but realized it would be better than him trying to drive. The owner went back into the house to get his keys and when he made it back outside, just minutes later, dad was trying to light a carpet nail for a cigarette. Immediately he knew he had to call 911 again and get them back to the house, something wasn't right."
"Mom, mom, wait, I want to hear all of this, but first, I am coming there. Let me start packing real quick and I will call you as soon as I get in the car. (I live in Escondido and my parents live in Visalia, it's about a 4 1/2 hour drive.)
"Jamie, wait, don't come right now. Let's see what the doctors say and then you decide when you want to come. We don't know enough right now."
"Mom, seriously, I know that my dad fell, hit his head, needs a neurosurgeon so is being transferred to a bigger city than Visalia....that's enough for me. I am coming and will be there as soon as possible. Be strong for dad, be safe for me and I will call you back soon."
WOW!! Since 1995, phone calls at random times have always been a little stressful for me. You see, my mom was in a serious car accident July 31st, 1995 (4 days after my 18th bday) and I can still remember that phone call like it was yesterday. She spent 10 days in the hospital, I never left her side except to take showers and 2 days after she was released from the hospital, I drove myself up to start double days for college volleyball. I was not about to sit at home while my dad was being rushed to Fresno, that's just not my style.
As I threw clothes in a suitcase, I was grateful for many things....my husband helping me by saying, 'yes, go, we will be fine,' my mom being of similar size as me in case I forgot to bring anything, a cell phone so I could call my mom right back, my kids for understanding that mommy needed to go be with Papa and the "not-so-random anymore" 2 1/2 hour nap the Lord just gave me! The drive up felt like it took an eternity, as you can imagine. I also had to drive 35 minutes past my parents house to get to the hospital in Fresno where they had transferred my dad. During my almost 5 hour drive, I learned that my dad had a subdural hematoma, they had to put screws in his head to try to relieve some of the pressure and he was in a drug-induced coma for the pain. I was starting to conjure up ideas of what he was going to look like when I saw him, but coudn't possibly fathom the reality!
It was about 10pm when I finally arrived at the hospital. My mom met me outside the hospital to walk me up to the Critical Care Unit. We hugged and cried together outside, but I had to remain strong for my mom and dad, they both needed me. We headed up to the 5th floor to see my dad. Here is what we walked into....
My dad was hooked up to every machine known to man, his face so swollen from being pumped full of medicine and the injury itself. He was lifeless really, just a frame of a strong man I so desparately loved and NEEDED to recover fully. I immediately grabbed his sausage fingers, squeezed his hand and kissed his face to let him know that I had made it and everything was going to be ok. I knew it looked really bad, but he was going to make it, maybe it would take a few days, but I was ready for the journey. Mom and I sat by his bedside most of the night. We waited to talk to the doctors and see what was happening with my dad. This would be the beginning of trying to decifer what the doctors were saying and wanting so desparately to just fix everything. They couldn't tell us much other than he was going to be in a drug-induced coma for several days until the swelling went down, but he could hear that we were there and they encouraged us to talk to him as much as possible (when he wasn't resting, of course).
We stayed at the hospital until 2:30am when the nurses told us we needed to go get some sleep. At this point, how do you leave and actually sleep?? We didn't want to drive all the way home at this hour and were not familiar with this part of Fresno. I guess we just drive and look for a hotel room. We didn't want to spend a bunch of money for the couple of hours we were going to allow ourselves to sleep, so just look for something cheap. We happened upon an America's Best Value Hotel and they had an available room. We didn't really care about comfort at this point, just any bed to lay on would do...and that is ALL we got!!
Hi Jamie, Thanks for sharing your story. There's so much I didn't know. I pray this writing will be a healing process for you... I just read some of your post to Mark and described to him what an incredible man your dad was. Much love, Rachel
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